If It's Brown, Flush it Downand other Obi-Wan logic
by Anakinskywalkergo
Summary: Obi-Wan gives his young Padawan Learner a unique and interesting punishment. K plus for the slighest hint of crude humor ;)


"You're kidding me, right?" 15-year-old Anakin Skywalker stared at his Master in shock before looking back at the small pad and the piece of paper in front of him. "This is stupid."

"More stupid then having a complete outburst in front of me?" Obi-Wan Kenobi challenged, crossing his arms. "You can either copy this list of logically rules and theories, or face the Council."

Anakin read the first few lines of Obi-Wan's list, then raised an eyebrow. "This makes no sense at all! All this stuff is just dumb…"

"Chose, Padawan."

Still confused, Anakin looked up at the older man. "But this list isn't logic. It's your own ideas of logic."

Obi-Wan sat down across the table, and handed him a pencil. "I don't care. You had no right to scream at me like that before, and this is your punishment. Write."

"I said I was sorry."

"Actions have consequences," the Master stated firmly. "Now as I said before…" He leaned over, locking eyes with his student. "…write."

Groaning, Anakin grabbed the pencil from his Master and stared back at the list.

_1. Actions have consequences_

"You just said that!" the boy exclaimed. "Is this just a list of all your lectures and…"

"You have to write it all," Obi-Wan cut him off. "Keep going."

_2. The Sith you know is better than the Sith you don't know_

_3. Pride is like fungus_

Anakin paused, and shook his head. "This is some of the stupidest stuff I've ever read."

Obi-Wan played up a hurt expression. "It's pure logic. Keep writing."

_4. Don't yell or you get in trouble_

_5. Flies are evil_

_6. Spiders are evil_

_7. Ants are evil_

_8. Snakes are evil_

"Wait!" Anakin shoved the list towards his Master, crossing his arms. "This has clearly gone from deranged logic to your own personal opinion on life."

Obi-Wan read over the paper for several minutes before scribbling several things out. "Fine. I crossed out all my thoughts on bugs. Continue as you were."

Anakin took the list back.

_9. If the butcher is bad, kill it with a knife_

_10. If it's brown, flush it down_

_11. If it's black, don't look back_

"Master, that's disgusting."

"I know. Thought you'd like a hint of crude humor."

"I don't."

"Oh…well, keep going."

_12. Don't eat the cafeteria food_

_13. Disrespect is just like pride – it's a fungus_

_14. Flying is a fancy word for "suicide"_

_15. Never say never because there is never a true never_

_16. The word "always" is just like the word never. Same rules apply_

_17. A lazy person is like a pile of dung_

"I can't keep doing this!" Anakin slammed the notebook closed, and gave his Master a strange expression. "This is all just a collection of the first thoughts that popped into your head, isn't it?"

Obi-Wan leaned back, arms still crossed. "Would you rather write this or face the Council?"

"It was just something stupid I said back there! I'm very, truly sorry!"

"I know, but you're still being punished."

"That's not fair."

"I know. Keep going."

_18. Life's not fair_

"Seriously? Are you adding stuff as this conversation goes on?"

"It's just coincidence."

"I thought you didn't believe in coincidence."

"I don't. Keep going."

_19. If you say bad words, you might as well use alpaca spit and throw it at someone_

_20. Your lightsaber is your life; because if you lose it, I kill you_

_21. Skinny girls giggle, fat guys jiggle_

Anakin groaned, and exhaled sharply. "Please, Master, can I be done with this punishment. I learned my lesson, and these sayings are just…creepy. The only one that makes any real sense to me is number 12."

Obi-Wan pursed his lips. "Anakin, there are simply four more things on that list. Finish them through, and maybe then you'll _really_ know that what you did was wrong and unnecessary."

"But Master…"

"Do it."

_22. Don't be like Jar Jar Binks – a walking bagpipe_

_23. Don't eat the yellow snow._

_24. Clowns could be monsters in disguise_

Obi-Wan broke into his work. "Write this last one and you can go."

_25. Bonds aren't created by magic. It takes work and ethic from both sides. No relationship is perfect, and you can't compare one with another. It's the will of the Force when two are brought together. Nothing happens by accident_

Anakin placed the pencil down and re-read the last phrase several times before looking up at his Master.

Obi-Wan offered a wan smile. "That's it. Punishment over, and hopefully, you learned something. You can go now."

Slowly, Anakin got up and walked towards the door leading out of their shared apartment. He glanced at the older man one last time, and smirked. "Maybe I did. I guess. In a way."

Obi-Wan waved him off. "Go ahead – I just got a message that Tru Veld is waiting for you in the sparring arena."

Anakin dashed out the door and Obi-Wan watched him, chuckling. Slowly, he picked up the list and looked over it, smiling, remembering several years ago, his own assignment given to him by his own Master. Remembering how the words and the idea for the punishment wasn't even his own, how it had worked, and how grateful he was for Qui-Gon Jinn's wisdom.

"Thank you, Master."

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**Please review and tell me which "logic phrase" you liked best. Just a quick little thingy I typed up 'cause I felt like it. Hope you enjoyed, check out my profile for more fictions, and as always, REVIEW! :D**


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